Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
