Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize