he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
