Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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