I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
