Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
