I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
