Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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