hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
