what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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