I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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