Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
