yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
