Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
