You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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