Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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