she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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