if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
