This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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