yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
