he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dude. I can hear the air.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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