i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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