If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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