You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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