I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is wine microwaveable?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
