Define "chronic" masturbator.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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