My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
