Cold hands, warm shart.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
