We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
