It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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