I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
