Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
