I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize