Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
