two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
