I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
