Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
