guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize