party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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