Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize