it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
