I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
