dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
