I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
