well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize