I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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