That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
