the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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