People with herpes should wear stickers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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