What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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