mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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