just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
