Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
