I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
