Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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