Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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