youre lurking in front of me
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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