I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
