running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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